not the regular schedule anymore

this i have learnt in the past few days:

+ open up to people on streets and you end up having wonderful conversations & free lunch for the gratitude.

+ you might even get a new friend who's house you can crash at when you go travelling the world by yourself.

+ trusting what jonathans says will result in 40 min waiting in freezing cold and rain.

+ msn is not as scary as it was before. maybe once a week to chat with old friends is okay.

+ i have a wonderful future.

+ the present is pretty nice too, it doesn't take much effort to be quite busy. have not been bored yet, due to doing things i have never done before (like talking to strangers).

+ rain is not that romantic at all, especially if it pours down during out graduation.

+ i really really want a kissemisse... now that the girl-who-was-gna-give-us-a-cat-kid is not breeding her cat until next year! oh, i want one of those white ones, or a tiger orangish one. small, preferably male that won't get very fat. not like bell, whether physically or mentally. ^O^

+ being spontaneous and not planning things really works, things pop up along the way and fills the time anyway...

+ ...although sometimes you go crazy and send letters to greenpeace to become volunteer. (we'll see how that goes)

+ conclusion: FREE time is valuable and i will enjoy every second of it!

Is this really the end...?

I just sent off the last last lastest last thing for high school. It hasn't dawned on me... no more test, no more essays, no more classes. But it will soon.

Prom below. Monday night, beautiful, golden room in the City hall. I went with my JB and left with him. Some other people came alone but didn't stay alone for long... ^O^
So adultish when everybody dressed up, but wonderful. Fancy dinners are for me, and my puny little stomach managed to eat the three-course.


Me & JB and my house. Don't we look like a "just-wed"-couple?


The couples + Åsa (haha)


The golden hall stretches only for us...


The dessert. White waitors carrying candelight cakes... pretty pretty i like!

The treehugger in me...

... wants to get my ass moving again. Even if it's catching a ladybug.
One day of restlessness, entire summer of free time. Where to devote?
Passion, obsession or laziness?
Take one day at a time, before I know it I'm off to a new life.
But really, I'm so going to miss those moments.
I think I need to see wildlife, untouched environment, nature again.
Kolmården here I come!
Or... perhaps the Norwegian Fjords will heal my soul?

..why do you have to die?

oh stupid stupid korean book. so happy to be overwhelmed, finally flushing cheeks and all angry at the stupidity of youth, of stupid obsessions and insanity. i miss you so much... can i turn back time?

will the future just be coldness, more and more. can you never love the way you have? how many times can you get hurt before you get tired? rhetorical questions, i'm not discussing myself here. but it seems the people around me, the older we get, the less we believe in love. the less beauty and the sweetness seems to matter. it's the desperacy of intimacy, except it's all just a curtain, it's not real! or is it?

think about before when you would like someone with your whole heart, and you were really blinded by everything. whatever you call it, a crush, a heartbeat. but it was that longing, that my god i think about you every second of my life. when was the last time you felt like that?? it was the fairytale age. the time when you believed in the prince, but the older we get the more distorted the image of the man on the white horse gets.... and it's fading, we're fading...

bu...huuuu...>_<... i want to be the princess again, i want to be the sleeping beauty. why let me wake up time? why, oh why? but i trust, i trust in you... and it will all end all well... it's just things are changing so fast, you can't control them, and i really don't want to let go of the side of me that was "ignorant in bliss".

but i love, i have loved for almost two years. and i'm happy, i'm balanced. but i'm growing up, and it gets serious... and i'm still... i'm still the kid. or am i?

-_-......-_-..........>_<.........

-O-...-O-... ^O^...

Ahahaha, I have caught the stupid Korean book wave, so many stupid little teenage girls get it nowadays. Of course, how can you help it, when there's two shuai-ge waiting for you to read...

I like being obsessed, haven't gotten into anything for a loooooooong time. Like I used to get obsessed about things, like get small crushes that go over. And THANK GOD I have not grown away from that! ^O^ So thank you, stupid korean book and movie for saving me. It makes my life a little happier, like knowing that there might be stupid korean high school crushes out there... !! Stupid stupid teenage, so different from the eeky swedes, it's so much more SWEET and CUTE and oh how COOL.

Have to make myself stop giggling, am behaving like I was three years ago. Yay! =_=

And oh I'm jobless again, more much more time-full, and will live off my parents for one last summer, and enjoy the last free time before I grow up and go off to university. I really don't mind, especially if the sun's shining, and more stupid korean books are awaiting for me ^^... But perhaps I should sue the stupid Punjab for only wanting me to get 40/h and BLACK. -_-


EEeeee....^O^....hihihihihi... -_-'....

I got a job!!!! x 1000

Some moments of less than 30 second can change everything...
My phone rang today, and it was from Restaurant Punjab, the Indian restaurant in Gamla Stan which I applied for a job few weeks ago. And they want me to start working this weekend!

So lalala... I guess it shows that everything does work out, and you just never have to give up and wish that luck will strike at the least expected time.

So adieu weekends, I will be serving people.

Oh, how much can you hate chinese?

I'm still writing my essay. I have been constantly doing so for the past three days, and the days before. Well I say I have been constantly doing so, but really I sit by the computer write one sentence then do something else. I can't concentrate, and when I do it's too hard to I can't write it.

But still with many days work I have managed to gather small pieces together into 3700 words/symbols. It's not the quantity, because I still miss the conclusion and some parts in the middle, which means I still have to sit here and write it. I don't bother! I'm too sick of it right now, I need more time... But i guess I won't really get my ass to it until I know I have to turn it in in two days time.

All this work... and I won't even get an Excellent. Because I have not read another f*** chinese book. Gah, I guess it's the whole process of learning chinese that is more important. What bullshit.

To more cheerful subjects, I have found a new band. "Kings of Convenience" consist of two norwegian guys and have the most wonderful mellow soft rockish indie rock pop kind of thing. My taste exactemment. ^_^ There website is here, and you must have heard that "I rather dance, I rather dance than talk with yooou..." song. You have to see the video, here. It's the cutest thing... and so beautiful!

It will all work out...

So, past two days have been annoying and a bit horrible (as we say in french). Back and forth and back and forth about age limits, stupid berzelii people and certain unsolidarity from classmates. Dream of having a wonderful up till 05:00 dancing class graduation party with lots of a wonderful people and fun is probably not going to exist. We are underaged and will be kicked out unless we hide in the toilets or borrow an ID.

So solution: me and Clara will be having our own studentskiva. It will be free, we will be aloud to drink, and we invite people we want and we get to be in the centre of attention. The "theme" will be... Houseparty nostalgia (one last time), if i get to have my say haha. Why didn't we think of it before? (the whole class spirit, oh but we have to do a class thing was more important then i guess).

Anyway apart from the whole graduation business there are other things to do that does not need you to be eighteen.

This friday Suburban Kids with Biblical names is having a concert at Kulturhuset for FREE! (Kickoff for Hultsfredfestivalen, but i don't understand why it's in Stockholm?) Anyway. Here's the link.

So life does not end when age does matter, in the end we will probably live longer anyway!