My sister is driving me nuts

My sister is driving me nuts. It doesn't work anymore with "otherwise i won't play with you" or "or else you won't get any new ___ (enter lots of things)" and "I'm gonna move out!!" She is so annoying today, she won't listen to a single person. Tired tired. I can't wait till September. Or at least till we get a cat...

The picture of the day is ME! Duh. And doesn't it remind you of "Life Aquatic"? I feel like I should be in that movie. The colors and so on, and Bill Murray could be just standing behind me. Ah, yes... The picture looks even funnier bigger. I'm so cute in it.

I still can't wait till i Move out. It sounds so heartless and mean, and perhaps I don't mean it. Maybe I'll come running home to mommy after two weeks in England. But I CAN'T WAIT. I can't wait to... be free with my own room without a toilet, and waking up going to showers with other people pubic hair still lying around. I can't wait to cook non-chinese meals (for the first week NO RICE!!), i can't wait to hook up with many many people and hanging around with my new-soon-to-be friends whenever i want! I can't wait to go out every other night and party my head off in the student union. I can't wait until i join like millions of club, so i have no time to study. But when i do study, I'll be stuying in Peace and Quiet. I just can't wait to be around so many new people, my age, with new dreams, new ambitions... and be with them 24/7. I can't wait for campus life!! Tick tock tick tock...

Metamorphosing

Since Daily Life commenced three days ago, I have felt that thing's are so strange. Weird and strange. In all the conversations I lead with people I keep on loosing my real point, and getting to the fact that my god! life is so strange. Which has lead me to have nothing else to say, because I keep rambling "oh isn't everything so weird?" or perhaps I don't even utter a sound, maybe I think it in my head, and just imagine the other person hearing it. Who knows.

It's just so many big events are happening to people around me and to me. Like Julian finally getting a job! That's such a big thing, when he didn't have a job. But then, suddenly the second he got one, it was like blown away. Now it's like... okay... he has a job. The same thing with me getting my university offers. Before I was neurotic, I was insane of worry, and i imagined these big changes that would occur. But now I've gotten the offers, and you forget the old thoughs, now you think... ah, this is what should have happened. What if I didn't get any offers? How would I be feeling now? Also, like Linda being kicked out of home. And Emelie getting a apartment (I still can't believe it, even though everyone has accepted it)!

These big changes. Once they have occured, nobody talks about them anymore. It ends up being me thinking about them (all the time, it seems) and then not really knowing what to say. It's like they have become reality. They have become the fact. There's nothing more to discuss. But i can't let it go it seems... I still want to scream: "Oh my god, i got an offer!!!!!" "YAY YAY YAY!! You got a job!!" and "AAAAAAAAAH, i can't believe you got a apartment!!!". But if i continue doing that people just think I'm mad. Also, all my future conversations from now on can't be about them can it? Because it's like oh you got a job, so what?

Grr. I still can't believe it. I think I need someone to slap me hard. Hit me into the new reality. Anyway, other than this watched O.C. today! Haha, very first time. It was amazing, like all the characters were so.. beautiful. No, but seriously, I actually liked it. It's one of those series I could get obssessed by. It's funny though, the main characters are all friends, have dated each other. But the high school life there is entirely different from our lives. Firstly, those relationships should not be called relationships. Secondly, gah... i don't know. I was gonna write that in tv-series they never say what they are thinking until it's almost too late... but then I guess that's the way many times in reality too.

Living in waiting

My whole body is aching. Went and played squash with Em yesterday, and that was my first body movement since like PE class last year. Only 30 minutes and my legs were already soft from all the bending to catch (or miss) the ball. Then today had to accompany my little sister to ice-skating. Was forced to use my achy-legs again. Additionally, we had to walk to the ice-skating place, which was very very very far.

Had a few important things I was suppose to do today, like my Chinese Book Review. I have not done it, simply because I can't concentrate. In my mind I'm already leaving for Hurghada (Egypt), and I just can't do anything constructive! I won't have time to do it when I get back I tell myself... I'm screwed. Now I will be worrying about it my whole trip.

Really, I can't even write a blog entry. I'm thinking: "I'm leaving, I'm leaving, I'm leaving......."

Oh, today's photo is FOAM café/bar which me and Em went to after Squashing. I liked it.

first entry

My first entry. Perhaps I have said farewell to my old diary (http://www.tabulas.com/~porcelaindoll), there is nothing that keeps me there anymore. Only a bunch of noga yanga wan- writing people. I don't understand a shit. It was quite a long time though, anyway.

I planned to go the library today, finally start to research for my Pop Art project. When I got to Kungliga Biblioteket, I had to take off my jacket and bag to put it away. Took out my notepad, and got all excited over being studious. Went into the vast beautiful library, felt immensely small. Didn't have a clue where to start. Tumbled to the Information Desk. Asked for the books.
She said: They are in the cellar, we have to bring them out, probably tomorrow noon you can get them. Can I have your library card? I said: This is my first time here, I don't have a library card. She said: You can register one. You have to be eighteen.I said: I'm not eighteen. (DAMN IT!) She said: I can't help you.

This whole eighteen thing is KILLING me. In SIX little puny months I will be eighteen, and I'll shove that fact up your little arses. But till then, all my friends are eighteen... and even my TEACHER thinks I am. Apparently, since he's the one who recommended us to go to the LIBRARY. So. I was in the library less than five minutes. Walked out, had to take out my jacket and bag, and then... What the heck am I to do?

Strolled around for a while. Decided to go to the Modern Museum. Except realized was Monday, all museums are closed on Mondays. Fuck. Fast check of brain. Go to book shop, yes. The big one. Sat in book shop for two hours, in their café, reading books. Was cozy, and actually managed to take some notes.